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There is a general belief that India is in the throes of a sexual revolution. And that young Indians are experimenting like never before. I wonder how much of that is really true – Shobhaa De in her book Superstar India.
Well I am quite convinced with you Ms De and let me apprise you how far the young mass has moved in the world of hypocrisy when it comes to the three letter word ‘sex.’
Day before I was sitting in a coffee shop with my two journo friends, taking out our frustration on the recent happenings in Delhi. There was a bunch of young and vibrant group who were discussing something unusual which we hardly crack in public places.
So the discussion was moving around the coffee table was about sex, virginity and having multiple partners. I am sure they must be in there 20s and quite affluent interms of there social life as well as having friends/partners.
The discussion was quite tantalizing as they were thrashing out the secrets who lost virginity at what age etc. It was unusual for me to hear this kind of discussion, unless it’s some gossip season among the rich and famous self pro-claimed esteem, elite society of page 3.
As the discussion went on, it triggered my 6th bone forcing me to turn around to look at the ‘cream of the crop’ group. As the conversation moved forward it was clearly audible that girls among the boys were keener exploring and going deep in to the foray of discussion.
After we finished our coffee we end up to the same old drama ‘rhyme of restaurants’ when friends hang out together and who pays the bill. It was almost half an hour where there conversation ponder upon every aspect of sexuality, virginity, who is more hot, who is perfect on bed etc. Suddenly I heard something which forced me to raise my eye brow and that was – one girl said, “hey! why don’t you come to my place. My parents are out of country. We can have great fun. ”
Then the boy sitting next to him said, “let’s try ‘foursome’. It will be great fun, and nothing to worry since we have experienced and given our virginity test already.”
Welcome to the fast forwarding, pulsating, experimental world of ‘Today’s Youth’.
But the paradox remains the same to a large extend. The Indian mentality and the society still remains the same with the absurdity of the 9 letter word - hypocrisy. Still matrimonial ads continue to specify the virginal requirements of brides.
On one side there are women who consider their virginity as a ‘treasure box’, whose key they are saving for their future husband. And on the other side we the men, who simply can’t wait to get rid off their virginity tag.
When it comes to me I believe that someone’s sex life should be dictated by them and that what is right or wrong should be determined by an individual only.
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Not agree with you sanaz
I don't agree with you Sanaz at all. I don't know if you are a girl or a boy, but your knowledge seems to be too much restrictive and compulsive in nature. Look around, not just your close ones, then you will know how the society is moving fast. If a writer has written something positive about the society around us which bares the social stigma, then whats wrong with that.
Written by: Deepa | 07/10 09:15PM
Not agree with you sanaz
I don't agree with you Sanaz at all. I don't know if you are a girl or a boy, but your knowledge seems to be too much restrictive and compulsive in nature. Look around, not just your close ones, then you will know how the society is moving fast. If a writer has written something positive about the society around us which bares the social stigma, then whats wrong with that.
Written by: Deepa | 07/10 09:15PM
Not agree with you sanaz
I don't agree with you Sanaz at all. I don't know if you are a girl or a boy, but your knowledge seems to be too much restrictive and compulsive in nature. Look around, not just your close ones, then you will know how the society is moving fast. If a writer has written something positive about the society around us which bares the social stigma, then whats wrong with that.
Written by: Deepa | 07/10 09:16PM
ya right...
I am not sure what exactly the author is trying to convey by this write up of his - which surely is fictional and devoid of any logics of generalization. How exactly does Bombay represent all of India? And Journo, while my English while not be the best, I seriously believe that you need a lesson on the English language.
Written by: Rohan | 31/10 02:04AM
truly amazing stuff by the Author. Sex and sex talks have become a fad these days and its true that someone's sex life has to be outlined by him/herself unless governed by someones religion because India is a multi-ethnic society and there are certain religions which do not permit sex before marriage or with multi partners.
Written by: Sunny Sehgal | 05/10 12:28PM
hats off to the writer
Very nicely written piece. its completely true what you have written. sex is a taboo in Indian society but everybody wants to enjoy it only behind curtains. I am staying in California and I can see the difference between the two culture. Looking forward for more write ups on this.
Written by: Amit | 05/10 06:03PM
How true
I am really unable to understand why we still take sex as a taboo. I am not ashamed of it talking to my parents and do we really need to be shy of these topics...
Written by: Yogesh | 05/10 06:58PM
Sex has been reduced as a mean of amusement
Well said!! someone’s sex life should be dictated by them and that what is right or wrong should be determined by an individual only. But if someone discusses his/her sex life publicly as u mentioned about some youths in your blog, it tends to raise eye brows. And i won't call it hypocrisy or a taboo. Every thing need to be talked or discussed, taking care of place and people around.
I think, our society is not behind the threshold of ignorance any more as today it is spilled over by well-educated and broad-minded people. And when it comes to 'sex', i guess we are quite open today. Gone are the days, when even teenagers were not much familiar with this three letter word, but tody we are witnessing introduction of sex education in schools edging into the debate.
But unfortunately, to some extent broad-mindedness is heading many of us beyond the line of balance or say required limitation. Here, citing the example of those youths, the author has mentioned is quite apt for me.
It is appalling that such an ugly picture of sex has been paintefd that even the mention of this word bring negative countenances on many faces. And its obvious!!! Sex has been reduced as a mean of amusement. That is why its real meaning-'menifestation of love' is licking the dark filled corners. In fact, getting the rid off virginity before marriage and frequent change of partners have become a fad these days but they have not dominated the society as yet.. thus ofcourse!!!!It will evoke criticism. It's not easy to ignore such thing by saying its someone's personal matter.
It's not about moral policing, because it's not for morality or religion, but for a healthy society and most importantly a healty life. There is naturally made beeline for every individual to respect limitations.
Hypocrisy surfaces, when society expect women to peotect theit virginity for men, as they are not considered pious and complete without it.But what about men??? Are they born with different flesh, separate society and responsibility?????? If men want loyality from women, they are required to gift the same.
Written by: Rashmi | 05/10 08:23PM
Absolute fantasy
Bhibu,
This whole article sounds like a joke. Do you really expect people to believe someone suggested a "Then the boy sitting next to him said, “let’s try ‘foursome’. It will be great fun, and nothing to worry since we have experienced and given our virginity test already.” " in a coffee shop.
I think this conversaton happened in u r day dreams. here are the reasons why I call this a figment of your imagination. Have heard how the 20's generation talk. there lingo. No one i know will say the lines you quoted. The entier vocab and lingo used by college goers are lot differant now...
Yes india is liberated and not shy but not some orgy den. When bunch of people over coffe say come home we will have a orgy.
Next time you post such crap. Say in quotes "FICTION"
Written by: Sanaz | 07/10 10:46AM
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